


Batteries Not Included

by octoberland



Category: Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Dildos, F/M, Lube, Naughty, Sex Toys, Vibrators, loki cries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-07
Updated: 2014-02-07
Packaged: 2018-01-11 12:02:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1172831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/octoberland/pseuds/octoberland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Darcy has to explain sex toys to Loki and smut ensues. Tumblr prompt. Mostly PWP with a hint of romance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Batteries Not Included

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Brightki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brightki/gifts).



> This is from a Tumblr prompt. I was going to have it beta'd but then it took me longer to complete than I anticipated so I figured I'd better just get it up. If it sucks, I apologize.
> 
> No copyright infringement intended. And you definitely need to utilize suspension of disbelief here as I provide no reason as to why everyone is happily living together on Earth or why Loki isn't being his usually insane self. Just go with it. For Asgard. For the porn. And do let me know what you think.
> 
> Also, I've not given up on Loneliest Girl, I swear. Just got busy. And I promise I will get to all the prompts I was given.
> 
> Enjoy!

“I need ice,” said Darcy as she held up her glass for emphasis. She could hear Loki rooting around in the kitchen behind her. It was another hot day in New Mexico, hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk, so while Jane and Thor were off doing their thing Darcy had decided to stay home with the Frost Giant. Sweat beaded on her skin and loose strands of her hair stuck to her neck and forehead. “Swamp cooler, my ass,” she muttered under her breath. “More like useless air blowing contraption.”

She was focused on the magazine in her lap when she felt a heavy thud land in her glass. Confused, she looked up.

“What the hell, Loki?!” she screeched. The magazine slid haphazardly off her lap, pages sticking to her damp skin before tumbling to the floor as she rose from the couch and simultaneously plucked her vibrator from her glass. Water dripped down as she held it away from her and set her glass on the coffee table.

She glared at Loki.

“It was in the freezer,” he said and shrugged his shoulders. Darcy thought she caught a faint glimmer of mischief in his dark eyes.

“You’re not stupid,” she said as she continued to glare at him. “You know what ice is.”

“Is it not cold?” he asked. “Does it not serve a purpose?”

Darcy’s cheeks flushed.

“Yes, it serves a purpose,” she mumbled. She turned to go to the kitchen and put it back but Loki’s slim hand wrapped around her wrist, halting her retreat.

“What purpose, then?” he asked, his tone genuine.

It was not uncommon for Loki to ask questions. He was voraciously curious about life on Earth, especially if it had to do with technology. Jane had quickly grown weary of his questions, though Darcy suspected that was because Jane was near incapable of providing a short and simple answer. So a sort of friendship had blossomed between Darcy and Loki, for she in her own way was equally curious about the world and far more efficient when answering Loki. The microwave had become the ‘science oven’, the refrigerator was ‘mini Jotunheim’, and her iPod was ‘tiny musicians’, and so on and so forth.

Darcy’s cheeks flushed deeper and she felt them grow hot. “It’s a dildo,” she whispered. She looked down at the cream colored carpet and wished she could just shrink down and disappear into it. She tried to free her wrist but Loki’s grasp held fast.

“Dildo?” he repeated and Darcy found herself growing frustrated.

“Yes,” she said, her voice growing louder. She looked up at him defiantly. “A dildo. A vibrator. A sex toy. You know, to stick up my…” and she motioned at her pelvis with her free hand. “Or do they not have sex toys on Asgard?”

Loki smirked. “Oh, we do,” he said. His voice dropped an octave when he spoke. “But why, pray tell,” he said as he pulled the cold vibrator from Darcy’s hand and examined it, “was it in the freezer?”

Now Darcy really did turn red. What was she going to do? Tell him that their little friendship had somehow turned into a crush the last few months? That she’d spent more than one night imagining his long, slender fingers touching her, had imagined how his lips would taste upon hers? That in a fit of scientific curiosity she’d wondered how it would feel to make love to him in his Jotun form and had then decided to put her vibrator in the freezer. For science, of course.

“Where else would I keep it?” she snapped. She tried, futilely, to snatch it from his hand but he was too tall and she couldn’t reach.

“You’re a terrible liar, Darcy,” he said.

“And you’re nosy,” she replied.

In one swift movement Loki pinned Darcy’s arm behind her back, effectively pushing her up against his lean body and trapping her there. He leaned down and whispered into her ear.

“If you wished to know what it was like to lie with me, all you needed to do was ask.”

Darcy's body softened at his words and she felt herself leaning into him instead of trying to pull away.

He took her earlobe between his teeth and bit down gently, eliciting a gasp from Darcy. She forgot all about the vibrator and instead fisted her free hand into his black t-shirt.

Loki could feel the cold fading from Darcy’s toy so he summoned a bit of magick. In doing so the toy not only grew frigid again but also began to vibrate, startling both him and Darcy.

Darcy laughed and buried her face in his chest. “Oh my God,” she said, embarrassed.

“Interesting,” he said, one eyebrow raised as he examined the little machine. He turned it this way and that, all the while using his magick to increase and decrease the speed of the vibrations. He was even able to create different pulse patterns not already programmed into the device.

“Jeez,” said Darcy as she turned to look. “You’re better than my OMB.” 

“OMB?” he asked.

“OhMiBod,” she clarified. “It’s a thing I use with my iPod.”

“A thing like this?” he asked.

“Uh-uh.”

“How many of these…machines do you own?” He loosened his grip on Darcy’s arm so that she could move again.

“Um, a few.” She stepped back and took a deep breath. “Didn’t know I was going to be giving sex toy 101 today.”

She turned and went to the kitchen and when she came back she had a cold beer in her hand. “Liquid courage,” she explained, as she held the bottle out towards him. “Want some?”

“You need courage to lie with me?” he asked, his tone almost hurt.

Darcy nearly choked on the swig of beer she’d just taken. “That, my friend, is the understatement of the year.” She held the bottle out again but Loki declined, shaking his head ‘no’.

“Come on,” she said as she wandered into her bedroom and Loki followed.

“Sit,” she instructed as she patted the space on the bed next to her and then placed the beer on her nightstand. The room was small and messy, and stuffy in the noonday heat despite Darcy having kept her blinds shut. Darcy pulled open her bedside drawer and began pulling items out. She took another deep breath.

“Okay,” she said. “This is a bullet vibe.” She handed him a small silver object with a wire attached to a little box. She flicked the switch on the box and the silver orb began to vibrate like the other toy Loki held. He put down the one from the freezer and examined the item Darcy had handed him.

“It’s rather…small,” he remarked.

Darcy laughed. “I don’t put it in me, silly,” she said as she took it back from him.

Loki quirked an eyebrow.

“It goes…” Darcy spread her legs a bit, “…on the outside, here,” she said, mimicking where she would place it if she were actually using it.

Loki continued to look confused. “Perhaps you should show me?” he suggested.

“You’re so full of shit,” said Darcy as she elbowed him.

Loki chuckled and Darcy put the bullet vibe back in her drawer. Next she pulled her iPod into her lap. “Gimme that,” she said as she motioned to the vibrator from the freezer. Loki obediently handed it to her and watched, curious, as she plugged a wire into it and then plugged that same wire into her iPod. The wire also split off and had earbuds attached. She stuck one of the earbuds in Loki’s ear and then started searching through her iPod. Finally she found the tune she was looking for and hit play. Immediately the vibrator came to life. It pulsed and vibrated in time with the music and Loki laughed in delight. “I like this,” he exclaimed. He took the vibe from her and examined it. Then he looked at Darcy with a devilish gleam in his eye.

“Oh, no,” she said as she snatched the vibrator from him. She tossed the whole thing, including her iPod into her nightstand drawer, where it continued to vibrate loudly as it bounced around the drawer till the song ended. She turned back to Loki and tried to give him her best stern professor face. “I’m the teacher,” she said as she pointed at herself, “and you’re the student.” She said as she pointed at him. “Teachers and students don’t fuck.”

Loki’s pupils dilated.

He leaned in closer to Darcy. “Say that again,” he commanded.

“Teachers and students don’t fuck?” said Darcy, confused.

Loki’s eyes drifted closed. “Just the last word.”

The warmth Darcy suddenly felt had absolutely nothing to do with the New Mexico summer.

“Fuck,” she whispered.

Loki’s lips hovered just inches from Darcy’s. “I find that word to be enormously satisfying,” he confessed. “Especially when uttered by you.” One of his hands grabbed onto the inside of her thigh and lifted her leg so that it draped across his knee.

“Loki…” she said, but her meek protest was cut short by his mouth on hers. His lips moved fervently, insistent and greedy, and rather than feeling cold as she’d thought he would, he was as warm as the air around them. She could taste the salt of sweat on his lips.

Loki reached around her and she thought he meant to embrace her but then he pulled back and held a bottle out to her. “And this?” he asked breathlessly. “What purpose, this?”

Darcy glanced down and then back up at him. “Lube,” she said, equally breathless. 

“Lube?” he asked.

“Here,” she said, taking the bottle from him, fingers trembling. She flipped the lid open, not without some difficulty, and turned his hand over, placing a tiny drop on the pad of his forefinger. He rubbed the liquid between his thumb and forefinger and it glistened in the light.

“Ah,” he said, understanding. “We use a type of oil on Asgard.”

Darcy flipped the cap closed and placed the bottle on her nightstand.

“And this?” asked Loki as he picked up a condom.

Darcy took it from his hand, their fingers brushing. She ripped open the foil packet and held out the condom for him to see. She unrolled it a bit and put her fingers inside. Loki looked confused.

Darcy lowered her hands and held the condom above the buttons of his pants. “It’s for your… thing,” she explained.

Loki took the condom from her and examined it, unrolling it further. “Why in the Nine would I put this on my cock?”

Darcy shivered. When she said nothing Loki looked over at her. “What?” he asked.

“Say that again,” she said.

Loki’s mouth curved into a half smile and he got a wicked glint in his eyes. He leaned in close to Darcy and tossed the condom aside. “Cock,” he whispered and Darcy shivered again, her eyes fluttering shut. She felt his lips at her ear again.

“Do you want me to talk about my cock, Darcy?” he asked in a low voice.

Darcy's body hummed, cable taut and ready to snap.

Loki placed his hand on her thigh, the one that was still stretched out over his knee, and began tracing small circles on her sensitive skin.

“Would you like me to tell you how my cock has longed to be inside of you?” His breath was hot on her ear and his fingers slipped under the edge of her shorts, teasing the elastic of her panties.

“To fill you,” he continued, followed by a gentle nip to her earlobe.

Darcy wrapped her arm around his shoulders to steady herself. She used her other arm to brace herself against the bed as she leaned in to his touch. His fingers slid against her heat, the tips of them coming to rest on her most sensitive spot. He pressed down and Darcy gasped and turned her head to kiss him.

“To stretch you,” he said when their lips parted. He slid his fingers under her panties and dipped them ever so slightly into her. By now it seemed to her that all the blood in her body had rushed between her legs. She could feel her pulse thundering there, could feel how swollen she was against his fingers, and how wet too.

“To make you come,” he whispered as he slid one long finger inside her. 

Darcy half gasped and half moaned. She climbed onto his lap, facing him, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Darcy,” he whispered as she rocked against him, setting her own pace. He slid another finger into her and she threw her head back and gasped. Loki licked along the column of her throat and they kissed deeply when he reached her mouth.

“And that?” he asked, his breath ragged, when their mouths parted.

Darcy paused and looked over her shoulder. Loki was nodding at the velvet bag still in her nightstand drawer.

“Just another dildo,” she mumbled before moving again.

“Show me,” he insisted. He pulled his fingers out of her and Darcy whined, causing Loki to smirk.

“I assure you, Darcy,” he said, “that while I may have a streak of cruelty in me, I have no desire to leave you unsatisfied this day.”

Darcy’s heart fluttered and her pulse pounded. She reached behind her and pulled out the velvet pouch but before she could say anything Loki took it from her.

“Is this one special?” he asked while examining the bag. It was soft to the touch and had silver lettering.

“It was very expensive,” she replied. “So you break it, you buy it.”

Loki raised an eyebrow and slowly withdrew the item inside.

It was glass, long and hard, and colored like the spun sugar at the county fair she’d taken him to. It was knobbed at one end like a phallus with another bump a couple of inches down.

“I wish to see,” said Loki.

Now it was Darcy’s turn to look confused. “That’s it,” she said. “It doesn’t vibrate.”

“I could fix that,” he said with a twinkle in his eye.

Darcy rolled her eyes. “I’m sure you could.”

“Lie down,” he instructed.

“You’re serious?” she asked.

“I’ve never been more serious.” Loki shifted so that she was off his lap.

“I can’t believe I’m going to do this,” she admitted.

Darcy loosed her hair from its bun, dropping the elastic on the nightstand, and then lay down on the bed.

“I believe these need to come off?” Loki slipped a finger under the waistband of her shorts, lifting the elastic band and then letting it snap back against her skin.

Darcy eyed him, suddenly feeling very vulnerable but then she decided what the hell. Why should Jane have all the fun?

“Go big or go home,” she muttered as she hooked her fingers under the elastic band of her shorts and panties and slid them down her legs. Once they were free she tossed them off the side of the bed.

Loki eyed her with a hunger she’d never before seen in his eyes and she wondered briefly if he’d looked at the Tesseract the same way.

“Spread your legs,” he said.

She did as he asked, conscious of the fact that she hadn’t shaved that day and hoping he didn’t care.

Loki leaned down and inhaled deeply, like he was sniffing some kind of fine wine and she couldn’t resist running her fingers through his hair.

 _Guess he doesn’t mind_ , she thought.

He leaned back up and aimed the glass dildo at her entrance but Darcy stopped him.

“Wait,” she said as she leaned up on her elbows. She reached over to the nightstand and grabbed the bottle of lube. “This’ll make it more fun,” she explained.

She opened the bottle and used her free hand to spread her labia. Then she let a small amount of the silky liquid spill out onto her. She put the bottle back on the nightstand and used her fingers to spread the lube.

Loki stilled her.

“Allow me,” he said.

He replaced her fingers with his own and spread the liquid all around, paying special attention to her clit. Darcy sighed, closed her eyes, and plopped back down on the bed.

Slowly, she felt the head of the dildo slide inside of her. At first it was warm, just like the air in her room, but then she felt it begin to cool and she smiled. “Neat trick,” she said, smiling.

The further he inserted it, the colder it grew until finally she had to plead with him. “Okay, too cold,” she said, backing up a little on the bed.

Immediately the dildo warmed a fraction. “My apologies, Miss Lewis,” he said in a quiet voice.

By now it was in her as far as she could take it without pain. How Loki could know that dividing line was beyond Darcy but right about now she didn’t really care. She felt full and horny and she had a god in her bed and that was all she really cared about. 

She felt said god shift beside her and then felt him slip his free arm under her neck. She could feel his breath hovering above hers and the weight of his body next to her.

“May I” he asked. He moved the dildo ever so slightly in and out of her so that she would know what he meant.

It was odd to Darcy, how gentle he was being, how attentive. She hadn’t expected that of him and it endeared him to her in ways she wasn’t quite ready to confront. So instead she kissed him and when their lips parted she whispered, “Yes.”

He withdrew the dildo slowly; so that all but the tip of it was out of her, and then just as slowly slid it back in. Darcy took a deep breath and let it out slowly with the next pull. She worked to time her breathing with each thrust and grew more relaxed by the second. Loki began to experiment. He turned it this way and that, brushing the bulbous end against her g-spot. The latter caused her to writhe and gasp. Loki smirked and did it again causing Darcy to once again fist her hand into his shirt. Loki increased the speed, pumping the glass object in and out of her faster and faster with long hard strokes but Darcy stopped him.

“No,” she whispered, opening her eyes to look at him. “Short strokes…better.” She said, breathlessly.

Loki nodded and adjusted as she’d directed. Eventually he found a rhythm, short and fast focused on her g-spot that had Darcy mewling and writhing in his arms.

“Oh, God…” she said as she fisted her other hand into the sheets.

“Say my name,” said Loki as his lips hovered above hers.

By now her body was shaking and her muscles were taut with the building tension. She kissed him, sliding her tongue against his, and she felt him moan into her mouth.

“Loki,” she whispered, and was rewarded with a swipe of the head of the dildo against her g-spot. She gasped. Her body was sweating. She could feel the sheets growing moist beneath her.

“I’m going to…” she said.

“Yes,” said Loki. He increased the speed of his thrusts marginally, just enough to tip Darcy over the edge.

For a few bright moments the entirety of her being was focused between her legs. Without even thinking she grabbed onto Loki tightly, wrapping her arms around him and crying out loudly. He body shook and her hips thrust and she locked her teeth onto his shoulder and bit down.

After she stilled Loki withdrew the toy and placed it on her nightstand. Darcy felt sated and boneless and relaxed. She kept her hands on him as he moved, unable to resist touching him, and pulled him down for a kiss. She felt his fingers skim under her tank top and then he pulled it up and over her head so that she was only in her bra. He leaned back down and kissed her hungrily, his tongue thrusting into her mouth, reminding her of him thrusting the dildo into her. They both moaned. He settled himself between her legs and she could feel the hard length of him pressed against her. She ran her hands down his back. When she reached the bottom of his t-shirt she pulled it up and over his head.

“Are you certain?” he asked after she’d tossed it aside.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to come again,” she admitted. “But yes, I’m certain.”

Loki leaned down and kissed her again. While they kissed she felt his pants disappear. One second they were there and the next they were simply gone. Neat trick, she thought again, and smiled.

Now she could really feel him, hard and hot and not at all how she’d imagined. But then again, he wasn’t in his Jotun form. She filed that away as a conversation to have later.

She felt him pressing at her entrance and snapped back to reality. She pushed against his shoulders.

“No glove, no love,” she said, reaching for a condom.

Loki eyed the little packet, clearly skeptical.

“Look,” she said, as she tore the packet open. “I’m not ready for any little Lokis to be running around and who knows what intergalactic diseases we’re each carrying.”

Loki frowned. “I am healthy,” he said, defensively.

“Okay, that makes two of us, but still.” She unrolled the head of the condom. “I’ll put it on with my mouth,” she said with a crooked smile.

“Indeed?” asked Loki, surprised.

“Come here,” she whispered. 

Loki was tall enough that even sitting with him straddling her she could reach his erection. She used her fingers first, just to put it on the head of his penis. Then she leaned over and used her mouth to roll it onto his cock. She did this slowly, and took his balls in her hands, squeezing them lightly as she went down on him. The latex tasted foul but the sounds Loki made more than made up for it. She felt him tremble and then heard him whisper her name.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” she asked after she released him from her mouth.

Loki’s eyes were heavy lidded and he was panting.

“Lie down,” he said.

Darcy did as he said and spread her legs wide to accommodate him. He positioned himself at her entrance and slid into her slowly, as he had done with the dildo, never breaking eye contact as he did so. Darcy suddenly felt more exposed than she ever had in her life.

He stayed there, still, looking into her eyes as she adjusted to his size. She was still wet from the lube and her earlier orgasm so he’d slid in easily enough, but he was much thicker than her dildo so it took a moment for her to adjust. Loki looked at her questionably and Darcy nodded.

She felt his hand at her knee, felt him hook it there and lift her leg up. He pushed it up and up until it was folded next to her head, thank you yoga! , and then he began to move. Slowly, infinitesimally, he moved, just like how she liked to use her toy. Darcy gasped. The position of her leg allowed his pelvic bone to hit her in just the right spot and all the while they stared into each other’s eyes. She came again, and when she did he twined his free hand with hers, his fingers biting into her skin, bordering on pain. 

Darcy gasped with each thrust and she could see in his eyes that he was falling apart inside with each passing moment. It was like layers of an onion being peeled back, and what had started as something spontaneous and silly was suddenly becoming much more than that. He increased the speed of his thrusting and Darcy brushed back his loose hair, curling her hand to cup his cheek. She lifted her hips to meet his thrusts and whispered his name reverently. She squeezed the hand that held his and then leaned up to kiss him.

He shifted his hips, arching in such a way that he hit her g-spot and Darcy hissed. “Fuck…” she said, throwing her head back.

That seemed to be all the encouragement Loki needed. He put his full weight atop her and wrapped both arms around her so that she was caged by him completely. He thrust into her forcefully a few times and then on the final time he cried out, gutturally, his breath hot on her neck. His body was slick against hers and they slid together on the sheets as she wrapped her legs around him. She felt him shudder, felt him spill into the condom, and heard him whispering in a language she did not know. 

Then she heard him say her name, and felt him kiss her neck, then felt his mouth on hers. “Þú ert falleg” she heard him say when he pulled away.

When she looked up at him she saw that his eyes were moist with unshed tears.

“Hey,” she said as she brushed his cheek with her thumb. “There’s no crying in baseball.”

Loki shook his head. “I don’t understand half of what you say, you know.” 

“Yes, you do,” she said pointedly.

Loki nodded and half smiled.

“We’re a mess,” she said. “Why don’t we take a shower?”

Some of Loki’s mischief returned and his eyes gleamed. “Splendid idea,” he said with a smirk as he withdrew from her.

“Tell me,” he said as he rose and removed the condom, “are those toys waterproof?”


End file.
